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  • Writer's pictureArjanna van der Plas


“You sound just like your mom,” my partner sighs, as I make a snarky comment about the moldy fruit he just bought.

Even though my partner adores my mom (they hit it off from the moment they first met, geeking out about classical music and how to solve the energy crisis), he is also very aware of some of the less than ideal behaviors that my mom and I share😇

In my 1:1 coaching sessions with clients, I often spot generational patterns too. Up until now, I didn’t dig to deep into the patterns, because subconsciously I didn’t want people to feel like I was ‘playing therapist’ with them.

But then, a Chinese coachee of mine planted a seed. When I asked her about what she wanted from her career, she told me it made her uncomfortable to think about that question purely from her own perspective, and that she wanted to take the impact of her career decisions on her whole family into account.

Her comment made me realize how individualized the western approach to coaching is. Even though I love celebrating everyone’s uniqueness and individuality, I also see that we are all inherently part of our family systems, whether we want it or not - and there is huge potential for learning and growth when we embrace that.

And that’s why I treated myself to a year-long course in systemic work. At the core of the course is the family constellations theory, that helps us understand how our families shape us, like puzzle pieces fitting together. By exploring the connections to our ancestors and relatives, we can heal limiting beliefs and patterns, and create happier lives for ourselves and our whole family.

The reason I am telling you all of this, is because I would love to try my new skills on you, and I am offering discounted 1:1 coaching sessions for those of you who would like to explore challenges they are currently facing through the lens of their family system 🤗

Grab a slot in my calendar now for a 1-hour coaching session for 100CHF/€ (yup, that’s a 40% discount for private clients, and even a 65% discount for corporate clients). You can book as many sessions as you like, just make sure to mention this newsletter when you sign up 🤩

Topics that tend to work well for the family systems approach are things like:

  • Transitions and life changes: navigating major life transitions such as career changes, building a business, divorce, relocation, or adjustments to new family structures.

  • Family patterns or family secrets: understanding recurring patterns within your family, such as scapegoating, unspoken issues or erhmm being super judgmental about the quality of the fruit your partner buys😇

  • Interpersonal difficulties: exploring dynamics and conflicts within intimate relationships (e.g. with your partner, child or sibling), but also within business relationships or friendships.

  • Health and well-being: addressing your physical or mental health challenges and exploring possible underlying dynamics or causes.

Are you curious about doing a family constellations session with me, but you still have some questions? Email me and tell me what’s on your mind!

Sign up for my semi biweekly two-minute treat emails here to receive my next story in your inbox!

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